


stay with me, you don't need to run

by sadonsundays



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Hand Jobs, M/M, Trench Era, Unresolved Sexual Tension, brief mentions of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 05:20:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16361597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadonsundays/pseuds/sadonsundays
Summary: They’re so close Josh can feel when Tyler shivers.





	stay with me, you don't need to run

**Author's Note:**

> title from trench, of course. if you don't think tyler wrote this for josh you're lying

Josh is drenched in sweat, post-show adrenaline pumping rapidly through his veins. Despite all dues paid and all their hard work, he still can’t believe that this is their life now. Going from teaching himself how to drum in a rundown music shop to performing in front of thousands of fans every night—he has no idea what he did to deserve it.

The first few shows of a new tour are always the most emotional for him in the aftermath. He forgets, when they’re apart, how the intensity of Tyler’s gaze continues to knock him off his feet even after all this time. 

For Trench, Tyler suggested when they move from the main stage to the secondary, that they directly face one another. Josh at his drums, Tyler at his piano.

“Also, with this segment,” Tyler told him over the summer, smiling, “we can suggest the audience sit down—“

Josh laughed. “For our dads?”

Tyler clapped. “Exactly! A break for all the parents in the crowd.”

Josh readily agreed, not realizing until later how close him and Tyler would be in multiple venues. 

When they’re on the main stage, it’s easier to breathe. Tyler will hop on his platform from time to time but he mostly sticks in his own area. 

Josh can watch from afar. 

But tonight—show 3— they haven’t been this close since Columbus last summer. This stage is 10, maybe 12 feet wide max. And when Tyler sings about neon gravestones and sipping on chlorine, he barely takes his eyes off of Josh. 

Actually, throughout the entire set, he rarely takes his eyes off Josh at all. 

Surrounded by fans who scream and cry for them, under lights and sounds created for them, in a spot light built by them—Josh can’t take it. He’s never felt more alive. 

He’s never felt more alone. 

He wonders if Jenna is in the crowd or back on the bus. 

He looks back at Tyler who’s already staring at him, fingers moving smoothly across piano keys. 

Josh tries to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach as they hold eye contact, but he can’t help it. He pushes it down the best he can and hits the drums as hard as he can. 

It doesn’t help. 

By the time they move back to the main stage, Josh’s heart is so full it could burst. But his head knows better than to get hopeful.

He pushes it all away. 

The rest of the show is flawless, a surprise to no one. When they walk off the stage, Josh trailing Tyler, yellow confetti floating like rose petals around them, Josh takes off. 

In reality, he knows he’s never alone. With their success comes a massive stage crew and added security— but seeing as they’ve got the area behind the stage on lockdown, Josh is able to sneak down a hallway. He just wants a minute alone, needing to calm his frantic heart as soon as possible. 

He can’t face Tyler yet, doesn’t really want to see Mark or Jenna or Brad either. Shows 1 and 2 weren’t nearly as overwhelming as this— he’s at a loss. 

Maybe it’s because Debby was with him for those. 

He thinks about calling her then realizes his phone is back in the dressing room. 

He leans against the white cinderblock wall, the cool material soothing his flushed, overheated skin. 

He thinks of Tyler staring at him, deep brown eyes unyielding in their depth and ferocity.

Josh had wanted to shout, maybe even throw a drumstick at him— wanted to break the trance, rupture his concentration. 

But he didn’t, because the truth is he likes having Tyler’s eyes on him. 

Probably too much. 

He breathes, trying to ground himself.

Jenna always tells him, when she can see him spiraling, “Pick 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.” 

Before he can even properly look around, he hears footsteps. 

He doesn’t turn to see who it is. 

He already knows. He always knows.

“Josh?”

His voice sounds so small and confused. Josh’s heart constricts painfully. His fingers grip the wall but there’s nothing to hold onto. He doesn’t want to face him but there’s nowhere to run.

He turns around slowly.

Tyler’s holding his drumsticks, skin still radiantly flushed and glowing from a wildly triumphant show. 

His eyes are sad though—lost. 

“Why did you run?”

Josh knows Tyler’s trying to understand but he doesn’t know if he can explain it to him. Not again. 

He remembers last summer, when Tyler flew out to LA alone, leaving Jenna back home in Columbus with their family. 

He remembers the two of them being so tired, laying together on Josh’s couch in his California apartment, a place he only brought a handful of people— usually Debby. 

Never Tyler.

He remembers waking up to sunlight streaming through the east windows, birds singing as he looked down to find Tyler cradled in his arms. 

He remembers getting in his car, driving up along the coast to Santa Barbara, the two of them laughing and singing along to the 90’s alternative station on Pandora. 

He remembers strolling along the beach, Tyler’s fingers brushing against his every so often—tentative and curious and so gentle Josh could cry. 

He remembers watching the sunset, the most beautiful one he’d ever seen, Tyler right next to him—so close Josh swore he could hear his heartbeat. 

He remembers Tyler looking around them before leaning in, carefully, cautiously, and placing a barely there, brief but soft kiss on the jut of his cheekbone. 

He remembers Tyler whispering, “I love you.”

He remembers watching the waves as he said it back. 

Josh’s hands come to wrap around himself protectively.

He remembers it all.

And that’s the problem. 

“You can’t,” Josh begins, trying to calm how panicked he sounds, “Ty—you can’t—“

Tyler steps closer, hands gripping the sticks so hard his knuckles turn white. 

“What?” He breathes, tongue coming out to wet his pink, swollen lower lip. 

Josh eyes the movement, suddenly feeling so weak. 

“You can’t look at me like that, Tyler.”

Tyler looks away, frowning. 

Josh continues. “I’ve spent the better part of the last year trying to move on—“

Tyler looks back at him, eyes wide and watering. 

Josh pauses. He tries again. “Tonight, you couldn’t take your eyes off of me.”

Tyler bites his lip, eyebrows furrowing. 

Josh pushes on. “I don’t think it’s fair— using the audience as a barrier to be so vulnerable with me.”

“Josh—“

“Tyler, please listen. Hear me out while I’ve got my thoughts under control.”

Tyler closes his mouth. He nods.

“In the future, I don’t know if we should face each other during the second half.”

Josh sighs. “I didn’t realize...how hard it would be. God, Tyler. It was so hard tonight.”

Josh’s hands twist over themselves, fingers rubbing at the joint between his thumb and pointer as he shifts his weight from one foot to another. 

Tyler nods again, staring at the floor. “You’re right. I’m—I can’t disagree with you.”

There’s a moment of tense silence, Josh unsure what to do now. He’s so keyed up with nowhere to go. No way to escape himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Tyler whispers, “I— I’ve missed you so much. And I’m so selfish. I just—“ He trails off. 

He purses his lips, blinking. Josh knows this look. Knows he’s trying not to cry. 

“What is it, Ty?” He asks, tone gentle and comforting.

Tyler replies, “I love having you to myself again.”

Josh looks up, shoving his hands in his gym shorts to hide how he’s curled them into fists. He’s not an angry person, nor a violent one. He would never touch Tyler in a hurtful way. But his first reaction to that statement is anger. 

“Tyler, how can you say that? How is that fair?” His voice finally breaks from emotion, eyes watering.

“It’s not, Josh, it’s not,” Tyler rushes to get out, holding his hands up. “I know that.”

Tyler advances on him, shirt hugging his broadened shoulders. He’s gained weight over the last year, but it’s a good look on him. A healthy one. Jenna is a fantastic cook. Josh knows she takes great care of his boy. 

Her boy. 

Their boy? 

Josh is so confused. His head pounds and his heart aches. When Tyler reaches him, Josh doesn’t fight. 

Tyler’s arms wrap around him and Josh’s face immediately finds the crook of his neck, hiding there. 

Tyler’s scent calms him immediately.

The only other person in his life who brings him comfort so instantaneously is his mother. 

The significance isn’t lost on him.

“It’s too much,” Tyler begins, “looking at each other. I know. I knew it would be...but...”

Josh tenses. Tyler notices and squeezes him, bringing a hand up to the back of his neck and letting it rest there.

“I talked to Jenna.”

Josh’s heart drops.

He loves Jenna. Him developing feelings for Tyler never changed that fact. But he also never talked to her about him. About them. About any of it. 

He asked Tyler not to talk to her, either. Apparently he didn’t listen.

Josh moves to push away but Tyler doesn’t let him. He tightens his arms, wrapping himself completely around—surrounding him. 

Josh’s shoulders slump in defeat. 

He feels the tip of Tyler’s nose touch his hair, feels his chest inhale, hears the quiet breath he lets out. 

“It’s okay, Josh. Breathe with me.”

Tyler counts. “In—one two—“

Josh breathes in.

Tyler murmurs, “Hold it. One, two—“

Josh holds it.

“Exhale,” Tyler whispers, “one, two, three, four—“

His therapist once told him she thought of blowing out birthday candles as an overeager child when she exhaled. “You have to make it a bit aggressive, yeah? So you really let everything inside go.”

Josh blows out the candles.

Tyler’s lips press on his neck, not moving.

“Tyler,” Josh pleads, “tell me.”

“She’s always known,” Tyler responds.

Jenna is incredibly observant, perceptive, and empathetic. She’s the nicest person Josh has ever met outside of Tyler and his own family. Any other person might’ve walked away when confronted with Tyler and Josh’s codependency but not her. 

Jenna not only welcomed it, but embraced it. 

“What are you saying?” Josh asks.

Tyler doesn’t respond for a minute. When he does, he stutters. A nervous habit from his childhood. 

“I—I—“ Tyler’s breaths come up short.

“Come on,” Josh comforts him, “your turn.”

Josh does the counts for him and tries to ignore how they’re the only two people in the world who can talk each other back down from beating a hysterical high.

Josh holds him for a moment. Not wanting to press but also needing to press. 

They have to figure this out. 

“Well,” Tyler sighs after a moment. 

“I’m in love with two people,” he confesses. 

“I’m sorry?” Josh asks.

“Josh...”

“What do you mean?”

Tyler’s head lolls against the wall as he looks up. Even after all his success, he still struggles sometimes with finding the right words. 

“After my trip last summer, I came home and told Jenna I may have feelings for you.”

Josh’s palms start to sweat, a telltale sign of an impending panic attack. 

Tyler continues. “She wasn’t surprised. I mean, of course not. The only person who knows me better than her—“ he pauses, looking at Josh. 

“—is you.”

Josh’s head falls forward. He stares at the ground. 

“Her and I agreed, once Trench was finished and tour started, that if my feelings for you became too much to fight—“

Josh looks up. Tyler takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders back. 

“Tell me,” Josh pushes. 

Tyler stares at him. Josh’s heart in his throat. 

“Tyler, tell me,” Josh begs.

It comes out in a whoosh, so quickly Josh doesn’t think he hears correctly for a moment.

“Then we agreed that I wouldn’t fight them anymore.”

Josh knows this should feel like a revelation. Like man landing on the moon or using water for fuel or the invention of social media as a personal platform. 

Josh knows this is big, Josh knows this life changing. 

But he isn’t surprised. 

“I knew it,” he mumbles.

Josh wants to push Tyler away but instead he pushes him to the wall. His hands land right above Tyler’s shoulders, bracketing him in. 

“What?” Tyler asks. Josh hates how uncertain he sounds, how insecure. 

They look at each other. Tyler always gives so much of himself away with his eyes. There’s history in them, good and bad. But when they land on Josh—there’s never anything but love. 

He has a look for Josh and Josh alone. It’s the same look he gave him on stage. Except now they’re alone. No fans, no crew, no one but them. 

Josh allows himself to feel it this time.

The dam of all he’s held back, the emotions he’s hidden away, the weight of the way he’s avoided seeing Tyler— again and again—over the past year— all comes crashing through him like a massive, incomprehensible wave. Josh touches their foreheads together. 

“Tyler—“ 

“I know you have Debby now,” Tyler says, “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to do this to you.”

“So why do it, then?” Josh asks, eyes closed. 

“Because I can’t control myself around you.”

The pain in his voice, the raw honesty—it takes Josh’s breath away.

“Tyler, this is—so much.”

Josh steps back, heart banging like a bell at dinnertime. 

“I might…I think I need some space, okay?”

He doesn’t wait for Tyler’s answer, fueled by fear and longing and uncertainty. He pushes off the wall, making his way down the hall. 

“Josh,” Tyler calls, following him. 

Josh holds up his hand.

“Tyler—I need—“

Tyler grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around. 

“Please don’t walk away, can we talk about this?”

Josh doesn’t have time to think as he advances on him, forcing him back against the wall. 

“What do you want me to say, Ty?”

Tyler doesn’t answer.

“Because I know what I want you to say.”

Tyler swallows, loudly. Josh’s eyes follow the movement.

“What do you want me to say?”

Josh doesn’t hesitate. “That you can’t stand to see me with someone else.”

Josh is well aware of how possessive Tyler is of him. Everyone is. He doesn’t even blink an eye when Jenna steps out of the house but Josh? It’s different. They’ve never talked about it, but Josh knows Tyler grew up lonely. And sometimes lonely people don’t want to share when they find the perfect friend. 

Josh gets it. It’s not like he grew up with a ton of friends, either.   
But once Tyler found Jenna, Josh assumed their dynamic would change. 

It didn’t.

Everyone but the three of them seemed to think that was strange.

But as Josh stands in front of Tyler, his best friend, his favorite person in the entire world— he remembers why he’s never cared what anyone else thinks of them. 

As Tyler’s eyes fill with tears, all Josh wants is to protect him. 

But Tyler needs to be honest before he can be held. 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Josh prompts.

Tyler bites his bottom lip. Josh leans in. 

“You’re not wrong,” Tyler whispers, so quiet Josh can barely hear him. 

“I know,” Josh responds, “I know I’m not.”

“Josh, I’m so sorry. I know that you’re not single I just—“

“Shhh, Tyler. Wait.”

Tyler closes his mouth. 

Josh brings a hand up, curling it lightly around the pale column of Tyler’s throat. He squeezes gently. Tyler whimpers, low. 

Josh brings his other hand up to Tyler’s cheek; thumbing away the sole tear slipping down the side of his face. 

“Baby,” Josh murmurs, watching Tyler’s face intently, “I’m with Debby now. But we’re not monogamous.”

Tyler frowns. 

“Wh—what?”

Josh doesn’t miss the hopeful tint in his voice. He’s been listening to that voice for nearly a decade. He could follow it in his sleep. 

“We’re not. It just doesn’t make sense right now.”

“Oh,” Tyler answers. “Well this…changes things.”

Josh closes in, aligning their bodies. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Tyler breathes, “never thought—I never thought it’d come to this. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Josh whispers, “just promise me Jenna is okay with this.”

“I promise,” Tyler replies immediately.

Josh will have to call Debby later. And talk with Jenna, alone. 

But he doesn’t worry or think about that now. 

He leans in and finally, finally kisses his best friend. 

The moment their lips touch Josh feels all the weariness and doubt leave his body. He groans into the kiss and Tyler bites his lower lip, nipping playfully at it even as he sniffs away tears. 

Josh can’t help himself. He’s dreamed of this day for years. He surges against Tyler, pinning him to the wall. 

“Josh,” Tyler pants, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

“Tyler,” Josh responds, moving his lips to his neck, biting down gently. 

“I want you so much,” Tyler says in his ear, low and secretive like a confession. 

Josh can feel himself getting hard, can feel Tyler against his thigh. 

“I want you too,” Josh tells him, heart pounding in his chest. 

They kiss again. It’s nothing like Josh imagined it would be. 

It’s better. 

Tyler tilts his head one way while Josh tilts the other, neither needing words to guide their direction. Just another part of their connection. 

Josh moves his hand from Tyler’s throat to his jaw, rubbing against it. 

Tyler takes the cue, opening his mouth so Josh can slip his tongue in. 

They both groan as their tongues touch. Josh takes the lead and coaxes Tyler’s out of his mouth, allowing Josh to suck. 

It feels so erotic to him, so foreign. Of course he’s made out before, with plenty of beautiful people, but never someone he loved so much. 

And while Debby is so special—she isn’t Tyler. 

No one is. 

“Josh, please,” Tyler whispers urgently.

“What do you want, baby?” Josh asks, kissing his lips softly. 

Tyler rubs against him, his erection unmistakable. 

Josh moves a hand down, tugging Tyler’s thigh between his legs. 

“Get yourself off on me,” Josh instructs. 

“Y—yeah?” Tyler asks, already grinding. 

“Do you feel me?”

“I do…”

Tyler pushes his head into the crook of Josh’s neck, shy and aroused and maybe even a little scared. Josh knows he’s never been with a boy before. Maybe this is all too overwhelming. 

He needs to make sure. 

“Ty, are you okay?”

Tyler whimpers, wrapping his arms around Josh’s broad shoulders. 

“Yes,” he pants, breath warm and moist against Josh’s skin, “just different—“

Josh plants his feet and moves his hips against Tyler, using the wall behind him to get more leverage as his pushes himself back and forth in controlled, strong movements. He ends up aligning their clothed erections perfectly—obtaining a feeling of friction so good saliva gathers in his mouth. 

Tyler moans at the new angle. 

Josh uses one hand to cradle Tyler’s neck, cherishing his boy even in a lust-induced haze, while the other sneaks between them and down to the waistband of Tyler’s black jeans. 

“Josh,” Tyler gasps. 

“Shh—baby,” Josh coos, “I’ll make you feel good.”

“Wana—wana make you feel good too,” Tyler responds, raw and sincere. 

Josh kisses his temple as he drags Tyler’s zipper down. “You are, Ty. You’re making me feel so good.”

Josh’s hand connects with warm skin. His fingers slip below Tyler’s waistband, teasing wirey hair as his fingertips caress the head of his dick. 

“Ah—ah, Josh,” he pants.

Josh pulls his erection out, careful to move his underwear down and out of the way. 

They’re so close Josh can feel when Tyler shivers. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Josh breathes in his ear. 

Even though Tyler came after Josh, even though Josh was the one on the verge of a mental breakdown, even though Josh has had his entire world turned upside down in the last few minutes— it’s understood between them that Tyler is the one who needs to be taken care of in this moment. 

Josh thinks this must be what it feels like to have a soul mate. 

“Josh, please, touch me,” Tyler begs. 

Josh doesn’t waste anytime. They’ve lost enough of that. 

His big, calloused hand wraps around Tyler’s cock, stroking it quickly. 

He knows how touch-starved Tyler can get, even with Jenna being on the road with them. Josh hasn’t touched Tyler in weeks, maybe even months. 

“I’ve missed you,” Tyler tells him, panting, “I’ve missed you every day—“

Josh speeds up his strokes and his hips, rubbing himself in the crease of Tyler’s hip like a whiney pup that doesn’t know any better. 

“I’ve missed you too—“

Tyler turns his head, lips meeting Josh’s in a passionate kiss. 

Tyler breaks away to pant against his mouth, “Baby, I’m so sorry—“

Josh’s heart springs at the endearment. Tyler’s only ever jokingly called him that in the past. 

It doesn’t feel like a joke now— here in this dark hallway in a stadium far from home. 

“Let me take care of you Ty, let me make you come.”

“Wana make you come too—“

Josh sneaks a hand around Tyler’s body, cupping his ass and plastering them even closer together. 

“I’m gonna come,” Josh says with a kiss, warm air mingling between them, “you’re gonna make me come—“

Josh’s hand speeds up on Tyler’s cock, now leaking profusely. 

Tyler’s hands tighten on Josh’s shoulders, one of his legs wrapping around his calf. Josh continues to rut against his hip, refusing to feel embarrassed because it feels so good. 

“Wanted this—for so long—“ Josh gets out, hoisting Tyler’s leg up.

“Yeah—“

“Used to dream about it, on the bus—“ he’d have to be so quiet with Tyler sleeping beneath him, not wanting to alert or disturb him. 

He’d bite his pillow, drooling on it, hand stripping his bare cock in the confines of his sleep pants. Sometimes the drag would be too dry, uncomfortable. Those nights were the worst. He couldn’t sleep. Other times he’d be so wet just from Tyler’s combined scent and presence alone— he’d have to sneak away to the bathroom, mumbling and stuttering over himself, as Tyler would look on, confused. 

“Me too,” Tyler confesses. “Would talk about you with Jenna—“

The thought has Josh reeling, the idea of them talking about him awakening something dark and dirty inside. 

Tyler bites Josh’s neck, “I’m close—“

“Tell me,” Josh gasps, “tell me about Jenna—“

Josh twists his wrist, making Tyler cry out. 

“Ugh, I can’t—“

“Tell me.”

“Josh—“

“Tyler,” he begs, “I want to know—“

“One night—we were in bed—“

He moans. Like the thought itself is getting him off. 

Josh’s cock aches, pulsing with desperation. 

“She, uhh…God—She got herself off on my thigh, above where your name’s tattoo’d—“

Josh comes. 

He can’t not. Not after that. 

His cock pulses, coating his underwear. 

“Fuck, sweetheart—“

Tyler kisses and kisses him, whimpering as Josh rubs at the sensitive glans surrounding the head. 

“Come on Ty, give it to me—“

Josh pushes his thumb in the slit and Tyler lets go, coming between them. 

His orgasm covers Josh’s hand and the bottom half of his shirt. 

He doesn’t mind. 

They kiss and pant and laugh—the ridiculousness of what they’ve just done finally settling in. 

“All this time, and this is where it happens?” Josh giggles, eyes crinkling as he rests his forehead on Tyler’s shoulder.

Tyler laughs. A real laugh—high and breathy and so filled with joy Josh’s heart warms immediately. 

“I’m just so happy it finally happened.”

“Yeah,” Josh agrees dreamily. 

They stand and sway together a little longer. Jenna will have the entire stadium after them soon enough. She doesn’t like being away from her boys for too long. 

A brief bolt of anxiety courses through Josh’s veins at the thought of facing Jenna. Even though he trusts Tyler. 

Still, there’s no going back after this. 

From this point on, it’ll all be different. 

Josh lifts his head, about to move away when Tyler whispers, “Stay with me. Just a little longer.”

Josh smiles. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> so. i saw the boys last night (they were incredible) and wrote this immediately after. just two best friends, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes for TWO HOURS, 10 feet apart cause they're not gay. add me on tumblr: themidwestfeminist


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